The merits of doing things the Hard Way
Reflections on embracing the Grand Struggle
My career has been somewhat unconventional. In the grand scheme of things, I’m not some ultra eccentric—I didn’t grow up poor in rural India only to be discovered by a local math professor and catapulted into the Western world. No, what I mean by “unconventional” is that I dropped out of community college after 5 weeks because I made the rational calculation “this is not a good use of my time.” I could not afford to go to school for an indefinite length of time while also simultaneously needing to feed, house, and clothe myself. I had very little support from my family.
So I took the most direct path I could; I figured “well, everyone is ranting and raving about unfilled tech jobs, and I’m good at tech, so why don’t I get a tech job?” A few months later, I had two certifications and was in the pipeline. My first IT job was simply plugging in new computers for Duke Energy (which was still Progress Energy at the time). And away my career went. I made aggressive career moves, took any training that was offered, and climbed the ladder, building a six figure career in a few years with mostly OTJ (on the job) training.
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” ~ Frederick Douglass
I have come to believe that there is merit in the Struggle. In my novels, which I’m still working on, I’ve developed the philosophy of what I call the Grand Struggle, that views conflict, competition, and striving as a cosmic archetype, a sort of spiritual energy that pervades the entire cosmos, and it expresses at many levels. There’s the individual Struggle—against depression, poverty, hunger, loneliness. Everyone has their own battles to fight, some of which are entirely internal. Then there’s the Struggle without; eat or be eaten, win or lose, adapt or die. You see this in ecology, business, politics, and religion. Ray Dalio said in Principles for a Changing World Order that “Evolution is the only force of nature.”
Conventional wisdom says that struggling a little bit in life builds character. Kegan’s stages of cognitive development are predicated upon dealing with increasingly complex worlds.
Perhaps I am applying too many words for well established wisdom. For instance, this pearl is over 2,000 years old:
“Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.” ~ Horace
In my philosophy of the Grand Struggle, I built a fictional civilization that elevates the Struggle to sacred status. By sacralizing strife, competition, and struggle at all levels, this civilization has become ruthlessly meritocratic. I came up with this idea by essentially looking at the archetypal energies of capitalism and neoliberalism, and exaggerating them. Neoliberalism says “market competition is good, therefore more competition is better; expand the markets.” So I thought “what if we expand that mentality to literally every aspect of society?” From this philosophy, we understand sayings like “might makes right” and “nature abhors a vacuum.” Once you see the Struggle, it cannot be unseen. Evolution really is the only force of nature.
That’s not to say that worshipping Struggle is the necessary and proper path for civilization. That’s the purpose of fiction, to ask a “what if” scenario and exaggerate it, so that humanity can examine itself. That’s the purpose of the story of Midas, whose golden touch ruined his life. Gold is good, but golden everything is bad. That’s the lesson. That was really the moral behind Terminator 2; fear of annihilation could cause us to build even more terrible weapons, and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In James Cameron’s Terminator series, AI is merely the modern equivalent of the genie’s lamp or the golden touch.
At the same time, we see people throughout history tipping their hats to the struggle.
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” ~ Winston Churchill
In my life as a medium-sized tech influencer, I’ve spent time with people who are far wealthier and more famous than myself. The first thing I realized is “they are all human, too.” The second thing I noticed is that they seem to break down into two camps: those with impostor syndrome, and those who own their status.
Some wealthy and famous people got there the easy way. They inherited something, they had a rare skill, they were discovered early, or something. They were catapulted by the Fates into the spotlight, and never had to really struggle as most of us do. That is not to say that they are all lazy—they are still some of the hardest working people I know. At the same time, they’ve never experienced true desperation, not like I have. When the Great Recession hit, I lost my job and my rental, and ended living in my car for a month. Not knowing where your next meal is going to come from builds character. That’s not to say “everyone should be deliberately subjected to hunger!” A society that institutionalizes abandonment and cruelty is missing the point: life is hard enough already.
But the people who really struggled to get where they are, who earned it the hard way, who faced failures and desperation—they don’t have anything to prove. There’s no status insecurity in them, and they aren’t jockeying for position. I know I’m painting with a broad brush, and there are always exceptions to these rules. So yes, I’m speaking in generalizations, but my vantage point is that I’m only 2 degrees of separation from Elon Musk through multiple channels.
“Evolution is the only force of nature.” ~ Ray Dalio
So why?
People have been talking about the merits of struggle across the entirety of human existence. I’ve mostly quoted Western thinkers here, but the West does not have a monopoly on its fetish for struggle. Buddhism foregrounds the idea that life is intrinsically hard. The first Noble Truth; life is suffering. Russian culture has perhaps the most cynical relationship with struggle and suffering. There is no beauty without suffering. Often applied to women and fashion, there is deeper wisdom in this saying. Rumi, the Sufi mystic said “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Kegan’s model of cognitive development—that increasingly sophisticated world models and self-models arise from engaging with increasingly complex systems—is a clue. The same thing happens morally, ethically, and spiritually. To face true hardship, and come out the other side wounded but wiser, causes growth. Western academia has only just begun to grapple with this ancient wisdom, with terms such as “post-traumatic growth” and “positive disintegration” but these ideas are not at the forefront of the clinical and therapeutic space. Carl Jung studied this extensively and called it nigredo (blackening) and albedo (whitening). By going through the gauntlets of life, your very identity is dissolved and reforged. Joseph Campbell codified this in mythic and archetypal terms in Hero with a Thousand Faces, and the trials and tribulations of the Hero’s Journey are just a metaphor and exaggeration of the cycle of everyone’s life. Frodo leaving the shire is a metaphor for leaving your childhood home. His return to the Shire was symbolic of someone “arriving” back in their power, finding peace again around midlife once they’ve gotten the hang of being an adult.
“The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” ~ Camus
Years ago, I realized that life was not going to hand me the Easy Button. I had a sense that Fate had something else in store for me, that while opportunities would present themselves, I had to rise to the occasion—and Oh Boy have I failed to do so at many turns. I have had some of the epic, catastrophic, cringeworthy failures. Bridges burned, opportunities missed, doors slammed shut forever. But I made a choice, shortly after that period of living in my car, “I’m not going to make excuses and let life keep me down.”
During that time, I went to the book store and looked at copies of the DuPont Registry, a periodical ostensibly for extremely wealthy men. Its full of high end cars, resorts, matching services, and homes. Want an $8,000 professional trained German shepherd to protect your kids? Check out the ads in the DuPont Registry. I did that when I was the poorest I’ve ever been, and I did it to remind myself “what is possible?” Yeah, from one perspective you might say “Wow, Dave, you sure sound like a temporarily embarrassed millionaire!” And maybe that’s true. Time will tell. I certainly cannot afford a $20,000 per night escort.
As they say, shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you’ll still land among the stars.
Post Script
I have yet to sufficiently define the Grand Struggle. I tend to appreciate the Chinese way of describing philosophy; Words are wholly inadequate to apprehend an idea. They are merely the net you use to catch the fish, where the fish is the object. Once you have apprehended the idea, you discard the words.
Furthermore, I have hesitated to fully write about the Grand Struggle as I am afraid that people may misinterpret it, in the same way that “Broics” today misunderstand Stoicism. These things tend to get distilled down into cartoonish parodies. Stoicism has become “emotions are bad, discipline is good” in a grotesque understanding of both philosophy and masculinity. Likewise, I fear my philosophy of the Struggle could be misinterpreted as “ruthless competition and natural selection are all that matter” and used as a justification for more “tough guy” behavior.
Within the study of SDT (Self-Determination Theory) there’s a sub-theory about the “internalization of motivation” which goes like this:
Amotivation: At this stage, there is no intention or motivation to act. The individual either feels incapable, indifferent, or sees no value in the activity.
External Regulation: This is the most controlled form of extrinsic motivation. Actions are performed to obtain a reward or avoid punishment. The locus of causality is entirely external.
Introjected Regulation: Here, behavior is driven by internal pressures, such as guilt, shame, or ego involvement. The individual has partially internalized the motivation, but it remains controlling—actions are taken to protect self-esteem or avoid self-reproach.
Identified Regulation: The individual consciously values the behavior and identifies with its importance. The behavior is accepted as personally meaningful, even if not inherently enjoyable. Motivation is more self-determined, though still extrinsic.
Integrated Regulation: At this level, the behavior is fully assimilated with one’s values and identity. It is congruent with one’s sense of self, though still done for instrumental reasons (e.g., pursuing health, growth, or ethical integrity).
Intrinsic Motivation: This represents the highest degree of self-determination. The behavior is undertaken purely for its inherent satisfaction, enjoyment, or interest. The locus of causality is fully internal.
Take exercise for instance. Many people have a love/hate relationship with exercise. It’s a chore, it’s a necessary evil. Gym rats and runners alike talk about getting to a stage of intrinsic motivation where you like doing the thing for its own sake. I love biking and hiking for their own sake, I no longer think of them as “exercise.” That’s an example.
The reason I share this is because this represents one way to understand the Struggle. Many people look at the setbacks and struggles in life as a necessary evil; that “life is just hard” and “suffering is inevitable.” But once you fully embrace the Struggle, you realize that every setback is an opportunity for growth, and also what keeps life interesting. If everything was Easy Mode all the time, you’d get bored.
This is why we increase the difficulty on video games once we get good at them. We intrinsically love a challenge, and a sense of mastery. In point of fact, Self-Determination Theory says that competence is one of our core motivations and deepest psychological needs. Competence comes in many forms; the ability to make your way in life, the feeling of self-possession and capacity, weathering storms and setbacks. It simply feels better to be competent than incompetent. This is just one way to understand the philosophy of the Grand Struggle.